Gothic Text files The Bat in the Hat

Not strictly a fairy story, but anyway....

The Bat in the Hat

(with apologies to Dr.Seuss)

The sun did not shine
It was to wet for flight
So we sat in the crypt
All that cold, cold wet night.

I sat there with Alice
We sat there we two.
And I said, "How I wish
We had something to do!"

To wet to go out
And too cold for a ball
So we sat in our crypt.
We did nothing at all.

So all we could do was to


And we did not like it.
Not one little bit.

And then
Something went BUMP!
How that bump made us jump!

We looked!
Then we saw him fly over the mat
We looked!
And we saw him!
The Bat in the Hat!
And he said to us,
"Why do you sit there like that?"

"I know it is wet
And the hairspray goes runny
But we can have
Lots of fun that is dead funny!"

"I know some good songs we could play,"
Said the bat
"I know some new tricks,"
Said the Bat in the Hat.
"A lot of good tricks,
I will show them to you.
The mistress
Will not mind at all if I do."

Then Alice and I
Did not know what to say.
The mistress was out of the house
for the day.

But our rat said, "No! No!
Make that bat go away!
Tell that Bat in the Hat
You do NOT want to play.
He should not be here.
He should be about
He should not be in here
When the mistress is out!"

"Now! Now! Have no fear.
Have no fear!" said the bat,
"My tricks are not bad,"
Said the Bat in the Hat.
"Why, we can have
Lots of good fun,"
Said the Bat in the Hat
With a game that I call
UP-UP-UP with a rat!"

"Put me down!" said that bat
"This is no fun at all!
Put me down!" said the rat
"I do NOT wish to fall!"

"Have no fear!" said the bat.
"I wil not let you fall,
I will hold you up high
As I stand on a ball.
With a tome in one foot!
And a cup on my hat!
But that is not ALL I can do!"
said the bat...

"Look at me!
Look at me now!" said the bat
"With a cup and a sword
On the top of my hat!
I can hold up TWO books!
I can hold up the rat!
And a little toy dragon
and a porcelain cat!
And look!
I can flap up and down on the ball!
But that is not all!
Oh, no.
That is not all...

"Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me NOW!
It's fun to have fun
But you have to know how.
I can hold up the cup
and some wine and a rat
while reading a book
and stroking the cat!
I can hold an eye-liner
and some powder and blush
And look! With my tail
I can hold a cheek brush
As I flap in the hall!
But that is not all
Oh, no,
That is not all...."

That is what the bat said...
But this was the thing
The wine glass got caught in the end of his wing.
He came down with a crash
Bounced onto the ball
And Alice and I,
We saw ALL the things fall!

And our rate came down, too.
He fell into a pot?
He said, "Do I like this?
Oh, no, I do not.
This is not a good game
Said our rat as he hit,
"No, I do not like it,
Not one little bit!"

"Now look what you did!"
Said the rat to the bat,
"Now look at this house!
Look at this, Look at that!
You grounded our dragon
You shattered the cat
You smashed up the crypt
and you made the ball flat.
You SHOULD NOT be here
When the mistress is not,
Get out of the crypt
Said the rat from the pot."

shouted the bat
and flew away...

From: (Count Von Sexbat)
Subject: Gothic Fairy Story 3
Date: Tue, 10 Jan 1995 14:44:44 +0000